Confidence: Don’t wait for it, work through it
We, as women, tend to underestimate our abilities and downplay our contributions. This leads to a lack of confidence that stifles our voice if we are not intentional about working through those less-than-confident moments.
I specifically recall leading a staff meeting several years ago where a talented and knowledgeable woman, who is naturally a bit quiet, followed me out into the hall after the team had dispersed. One-on-one, she asked the most insightful question, one that I only wished she had posed to the group. Her lack of confidence turned into a lost opportunity to tackle the business issue as a team, and a lost chance for her to demonstrate her valuable perspective to the team (and to herself).
We are never 100 percent confident 100 percent of the time. It’s in these moments that I challenge you to work through your perceived lack of confidence. Don’t wait until you have the confidence you feel you need. It may not surface, or it rarely does. I suggest three strategies to help women work through less confident moments and still be their authentic selves. Take these small steps to better prepare you for your next opportunity to shine:
Prepare for and speak up in meetings. In the microsecond you might opt to stay silent, decide instead to be an active participant. You are on the team for a reason. You have a unique perspective that is important. Share your thoughts, ideas, and perspectives.
Take your space. Pull your chair up to the table, hold your ground and take your rightful space. This is even more critical in virtual meetings. Don’t let your picture/box fall to the bottom, or worse, off the screen. Use your body language to exude confidence.
Stop downplaying your contributions. Phrases like, “This might be a crazy idea” or “What do you think if we” erode your internal confidence and the confidence others have in us. Avoid using language that minimizes your contributions. Words matter. Choose the ones that reflect your valuable insight.
Confidence is a skill, one that grows as you practice it. Don’t wait for it to miraculously appear. You have it within you—make a practice of using it.
