What is self-care anyway?
By Theresa Brockman
Since the beginning of time we’ve heard how self-care is the key to being the best leader/teammate/partner/mother (insert preferred title here) you can be. Stressed? Self-care. Burnt out? Self-care. Anxious? Self-care. Great, so, every time my life starts to get a little out of control I sit down with a glass of wine, apply my favorite charcoal facemask, run a hot bubble bath and read the hottest self-help book from Oprah’s Book Club. Viola! Self-care complete and life magically turns back into sunshine and rainbows. Right?
Society and social media constantly show us that these self-care techniques will help us feel better. But, has a glass of wine or a facemask ever provided relief for more than a few hours? It sure hasn’t for me. If that stuff actually works for you, call me, I need your secret. They’re great band aids to long, stressful days but, superficial self-care only covers up the effects of stress and anxiety rather than really helping us be our best selves.
For years I white knuckled my life. I put my head down, powered through and, every once and a while, I’d take a hot bubble bath to unwind. But the truth is I was tired. I needed more than someone telling me to lean in, wash my face and say my affirmations to feel better. I wanted REAL peace.
I decided to take my self-care to the next level and I’m not just talking about massages and weekends away. Although, a good massage is always a nice treat. I’m talking about the deep inner work of self-discovery. The work of getting down and dirty with my darkest shadows and understanding who I am really meant to be. Let me tell you, it was a journey, but I’m a better human because of it. Below are seven self-care truths I learned along the way.
1. Happiness is transient. A fully-lived life is a mix of highs and lows. It’s not only okay to experience rough days, it’s perfectly human. Happiness will return. Self-care helps make the bad days a little lighter.
2. Slowing down is a form of self-care. I used to wear “busy” like a badge of honor. All busy ever got me was exhaustion and high-functioning anxiety. I can actually get MORE done when I slow down.
3. Peace can feel boring at first. When I started slowing down and taking better care of myself, I’d often feel bored when I had the opportunity to relax. That’s not boredom, that’s freedom. Embrace it.
4. It doesn’t matter how great the outside looks if the inside struggling. Real peace comes from within. Doing the deep inner work to heal and grow is essential. Not sure where to start? Begin a meditation practice.
5. Self-care looks different for everyone. Take the time to get to know what works for YOU. The better you know yourself the easier it will be to figure out what YOU need instead of subscribing to the latest trends.
6. There are no shortcuts. Self-care is an ongoing, lifelong practice that needs to be built into our daily routines. Small and consistent acts of self-love on a daily basis can make a world of difference over time.
7. You’ve got to trust yourself. Stop looking for validation from other people or reasons to justify your decisions. You’re the only one who has to live with your choices so stop doing things out of fear of what other people might think or say.
Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is how we take our power back. By surrendering to who you really are at your core, and then making the choice to live fully in that space, you will experience a depth of peace you could have only ever imagined.
About Theresa Brockman
Theresa Brockman serves as the Vice President of Marketing and Business Development at Evergreen Retirement Community in Oshkosh. With a BA in Journalism/Communications and a Masters degree in Public Administration from UW Oshkosh, Brockman did all the“right" things to build the family and career American dreams are made of. When anxiety and depression took over, Brockman did what she did best, took control. What she learned, however, was that the real and lasting freedom came from letting go.
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